I receive an enormous amount of spam advertising “male enhancement” products. That makes me speculate men eagerly buy such products.
I am here to save you some cold hard cash. Because I like you.
Do you remember that time you got an ingrown hair in the unsung recess of your plumbers smile? … and it turned into a giant zit? You didn’t include that in your “Ten Things You Don’t Know About Me” list…. But we knew.
Today’s hint from Heloise is way more fun than that.
Any surgery below the belt has a little discussed side effect for men.
My first surgery was an appendix that ruptured. For $54,000.00 dollars (no insurance) I bought a lottery ticket that entitled me to BUY THE FARM or 5 days of morphine, ice chips and a lifetime of debt as the door prize.
I settled for the door prize. They thew in Jello for free.
The side effect (of abdominal surgery) is that for several days you will have Junk more impressive than you dreamed possible. We are talking skin stretched tighter than a drum and shinier than a show room car. You and your fans might want to wear sunglasses for the viewing.
The colors will leave you breathless. I promise a two week sunset with iridescent bruised purple morphing into angry red with yellow borders and more. Iris should be ashamed their colors are less throbbing.
Walk away from offers of Herbal quick fix, little blue pills or vacuum tubes. Sooner or later the medical establishment will recommend taking a Braun hand blender to your abdomen.
I wanted to include a money back guarantee with this promotion. My lawyer advised against it. The price of an effective surgery is all over the map. We all know in states where the average wage is $10.00 an hour, hospitals only charge half price.
Take a lot of pictures. It could be your proudest moment.