My life started as just a bowl of cherries but over the years you get down to the pits. When life gives you cherry pits can you still make lemonade?
Grocery shopping has become a grueling ordeal. Being rural the trip is 30 minutes both ways and hitting two football field size stores left me near tears at the adventures end. I would shoo away my well meaning companion and push the cart myself so I had something to cling to.
It’s not just embarrassing to fall in a public place, store management panics. As much fun as that can be it slows the food procurement process.
Yesterday for the first time I swallowed my pride and hopped (it was a slow hop) on one of the electric shopping cart bumper cars.
What fun. They beep when backing just like a big rig (or something) and turn on a dime. They have an auto brake that stops dead when you release the power lever.
Now you might think with the lack of “personal responsibility” and the electorate voting to bankrupt America with “redistributionist”… “entitlement programs” this jam packed big box store would have been filled with bumper car babies and welfare Queens stocking up on pudding cups. Nope. Out of the five carts available mine was the only one away from the charging dock.
This meant there were only pedestrians to ram.
And that is hard to do when they can walk faster than the go-cart does with the peddle to the metal. I want mine souped up. I want flames painted on the side.
Maybe a Hells Wrinkled Angels logo…..
I wrested my ration of tapioca from the world and came home in less pain than usual.
It could have been more fun. Meet me at Sam’s Club next month on the 3rd. Back up to my bumper baby…..