Nearing the Last Chapter

“The time has come,” the Walrus said, “to speak of many things”…   some that bruise.

My chronicle of The Little Bear’s adventures won’t be complete without the beginning of his story’s end.

Little Bear named

Life is the circle of creation and destruction and Shiva’s foot will not stay up forever.  The dance will end.

The great joy of a young wild ruffian dog gave way to the sweet spot where (human) beast and dog sync utterly and neither is complete without the other.    The mutual clairvoyance becomes rapture.

Such a gift was ours.

Many wonderful years passed.

His muzzle turned grey.

His hips became an issue, like father, like son.  White Willow Bark, Devil’s Claw and Glucosamine seemed to hold that demon at bay for a while.

He started growing deaf.  We switched to sign language.

His eyes began growing an opaque film.   Antibiotic eyedrops help preserve his vision but he comes and wishes me to cover his eyes with my hand.  They bother him.

His walking is now growing wobbly and awkward.

The stairs sometimes take several attempts.

Most of this year he continued to try a “jump”…  onto a rock, a short embankment or to lie on my bed.  It was hard to watch him fail.  He sometimes hurt himself badly.  He finally abandoned the effort.

It was bittersweet.  He sometimes puts a front paw on the edge of something tall and looks at me.  He knows I will help.

He still wants a morning walk and we go.  We stick to long memorized paths and when he lags I wait.  If he forgets where I am I go to him.

My neighbors recently fenced their yard.  If we visit, he is glad to be going home again and goes to the spot in the fence we used to travel.    I coax him toward the open gate 10 feet away.

I recently resealed my brick floor.  It was shiny.  It also made traction for old dog legs impossible.  I quickly stripped the shine away.  He can get up again.

There is nothing new about every life having a beginning, middle and end. It is not a fresh observation that we celebrate beginnings and mourn endings.  It is not novel to think it the companionship we lose, we mourn.

I accept my own inevitable death as the predestined completion of my journey.

I will mourn completing that journey without a dearly loved irreplaceable friend.

The mourning needs to wait, though I already feel him leaving.  For the moment I am busy drinking in his scent and providing for his needs.  I am bound by love to show him to the gentlest easiest end I have it my power to do.   For now I will hold, and hold onto my “Little Bear”.

He has had a long and good life.  For a short while longer he is by my side.

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29 Responses to Nearing the Last Chapter

  1. Cindy says:

    Oh Lynden. With tears streaming down my face I can tell you I understand. Please don’t forget my offer. I’m counting on being there.

  2. Mac Lawrence J McFarland-Groves says:

    No words of comfort can make things all better. We still grieve our babies and when the time comes I’ll grieve my nephew, lb, who I’ve never had the pleasure, but have heard the fables.

  3. Tears are in my eyes. I have no words to say really, This is a lovely tribute to Little’s time left here on Earth. I’m here for you.

  4. I feel as if I’ve grown to know the two of you these past few years. It is time for LB to rest. Your journey will still continue, and LB would want you to find a new companion, simply because having a dog around is part of your daily rhythm.

    The both of you are in my thoughts today.

  5. Some People's Kids says:

    You know I feel for you. My Kiki, My Kiki had to leave two weeks ago. The pack mourns, even with the new blood, and we shall put up a howl in the moonlight not only for ourselves, but for you and yours as well.

    If you need a comrade of furry thoughts, you know where I am.

  6. thomassparky says:

    Hey Big Brother, I Love you and wish I could help you with this journey! I feel guilty planning on posting photo’s of my and mothers new pups. I mean with what you are facing! I wish Woody and I could be there to give you a Big hug! I’ve been so busy, I’ll post pictures soon! I’m also here for you Big brother!

  7. Precious time left. You two are so fortunate to have found each other.

    And that he didn’t pass early from that snake bite, or another tragedy. These are nature’s gifts to you.

  8. Melissa Hart says:

    I can feel the love you have for your little doggie. Time, time is all any of us have. Use it wisely. Silly me, I know you will.

  9. Ishbel says:

    Sorry that your companion is fading.

    • osolynden says:

      Thank you Ishbel. We have had a long and wonderful run this Little Bear and I. How delightful to see you here.

      • Ishbel says:

        What can I say?

        Some of the nicest people have left Gather and I miss them!

        I’m seriously upset by some of the people still there. Somehow I feel my time there is drawing to a close…

        • osolynden says:

          I recently (because of masochistic tendencies) visited Peter Wimsey’s blog. An old one but still active. Read all 326 comments…

          All the usual suspects were there trashing Gays and lying their butts off about what they have said in the past. Nor am I interested in joining the “What I had for Dinner” club. Or the points groups. Or reading a repost of something I already got in my morning email even if I agree with it.

          Trying to get an interactive group going here… Feel free to sign up and know I would support your blog here on any topic.

  10. Joy Bee says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about Little Bear. I miss you. You can e-mail me if you want, I will write back. (Don’t let this comment post, it is for your eyes only.) Love you. Joy

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