Fake Penis


I rented an industrial warehouse space in Burlingame California (long ago) and opened a woodworking shop.  It was a full station, well appointed shop with an Inca surface planer, a Hegner scroll saw, a pin router and stuff weekend warriors have mostly never heard of.

The table saw had a work table in front that allowed me to work 4 x 8 sheet goods alone. 
It was a fledgling business that against all odds survived. I supported myself making things and marketing them for many years.  

My women friends are often faced with being ignored when “men things” are being discussed.  I have known women who put most men to shame and men who don’t know one end of a screwdriver from the other. 

I started my chair today in the workshop at the landlords house.  Some of those tools are mine.  Gays are apparently even more helpless than women…  Not even worth listening to…

No one ever complained my penis was fake before but having one doesn’t get you in the table saw club if you are gay.  Gay is less than female which is already inferior.

The project is off to a bad start and the maple ply I sprang extra for will need to be painted, not varnished as I had hoped.  The joints are glue starved and will need some screws and support framing.  The whole carcass is now glued to a workbench but my buddy hasn’t figured that out yet…


Sigh.  Life is hard enough without idiots…

I love dogs.  I really, really do.

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12 Responses to Fake Penis

  1. dustup224 says:

    It’s a labor of love with aggravation stirred in to accent the wonderful smell of wood and the satisfaction of creating something with your bare hands and craftsmanship.
    Don’tcha just hate it when the glue squeezes out when clamping and it glues your project to the bench? Politely fire your helper by giving him another project that you will use for firewood on a glorious summer night at sunset as you and stitch take in the ambiance of the arroyo— in your new chair.

  2. I was never good with workgroups either. 😉

    • osolynden says:

      I am sure that is part of it. 🙂

      I am particularly allergic to control freaks. Now factor in the brain dead element. He took a big swig on his bottle and told me I had called the back the front (the chair) and that was why he was confused. I explained he had been on the other side of the work bench for that conversation…

  3. thomassparky says:

    That’s one of the problems with this country. Typical American Arrogance everywhere you go! It’s the small dog syndrome for people all of those guys that act like they have a 10 inch penis are trying to make up for the fact they have a 2 inch penis!

    • osolynden says:

      He seems to think he knows more than anyone, particularly Gays and women… Never mind I ran my own woodworking business for years.


      Well, I will overcome this obstacle.

  4. Cary says:

    …..can we tawk??????????

  5. Stitch just might be smarter than your landlord. Just kidding.

    No I’m not.


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